i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize