every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
