he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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