Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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