Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
