what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
