Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I wish i was in the wii world.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
