I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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