sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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