Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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