you're like a bully in the Christmas story
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
