toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
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