YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
