Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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