i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Everything about him screamed your future.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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