we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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