I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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