I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
