speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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