I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
