I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
there's paper in my vomit.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
My boob is missing a layer of skin
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
