No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
