Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
