I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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