i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
