i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
