operation harelip BJ is a go
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
this is an emotional support booty call
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
