I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
he shaved USA in his pubs
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
