Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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