I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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