yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
