I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
