you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
