She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
