i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He felt like a one man threesome
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
