I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize