So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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