so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
