it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
porn star boner night. come get it.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
