no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Randomize
