True but thats because hes a fetus.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
