She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
