OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
