This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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