her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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