you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
