wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize