The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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