My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
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