dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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