you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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