Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
