i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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