Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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