My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I just sucked dick on a ferry
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
