Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
