How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
