Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Two words: blizzard sex
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
