She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
then he tried to convert me to islam
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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