he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
