Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
