A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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