I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
