the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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