Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
