Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize