Pants 0. Shit 1.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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