I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
