Non-Jews are for practice
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize