I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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