Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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