We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
