Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I need water and some morals
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
