This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
