All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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