A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
