Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
bring money and cleavage
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Randomize
