you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
did i walk over a car last night?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
