I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize