I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
